Two shows that my children have watched are found on PBS called "Word Girl" and "Super Why!". They depict superhero styled characters who are infused with the power of words. The shows focus on teaching vocabulary and reading skills, but are geared toward helping the young child begin their higher level thinking that is so popular in the educational system these days.
I bring these two shows up because of the super power that the characters have. The power of words. Do words have power? And if so, what power do they have? Growing up we often repeated the defiant rhyme "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." It seemed like sound logic at the time. I mean come on, words can't hurt, right? Or can they?
Words have tremendous power. They have the power to make us or break us. Our emotional well-being is affected by words. Our careers are defined by words. You name it, and I will argue that words matter to it.
How often do we tell someone they are acting "stupid" or "irrational"? In our minds we might be thinking nothing of it, but the person receiving the rebuke might hear that they are stupid and it begins to stick and define their actions. When we make fun of somebody because of their clothes, hairdo, looks or whatever it may be; those words that we use stay with the person and they do hurt. Sticks and stones may indeed break your bones, but those broken bones will heal and you will forget about it. The words on the other hand may not leave a physical mark, but the wounds and scars that they leave will last a lifetime if not treated properly.
Sometimes the words we use in our interactions with others are chosen in the heat of the moment, on the spot without much thought going into them. We tell ourselves, "they are only words, they mean nothing", but in reality they mean everything. I've heard countless stories of people who were about to commit suicide when one person said a kind word to them and it changed the course of their lives. I've also heard many stories of the opposite.
Not too long ago in my community a young woman committed suicide. Her brother upon hearing it was inconsolable, for obvious reasons. But his pain went deeper. That very morning in an argument with his sister he told her that she was annoying and that he wanted her out of his life and to go away. These words could have been the final words that anybody had spoken to her. Once again, words have power.
About 3 years ago I had the interesting experience thrust upon me of stepping into a classroom and becoming a High School teacher. The story behind this is lengthy and interesting, but I won't get into that here. Let's just say a few words spoken to me caused a chain reaction which led me to feel that I had something to offer the kids at this isolated and small High School on the border of Utah and Nevada.
As I interacted with the students on a daily basis I quickly learned that the words which had been spoken to them during the course of their lives had been very powerful, but in a negative way. This particular school is very small with a student population that is about 95% Hispanic and under performs repeatedly on State and Federal Tests. Many of the students feel like they don't need to try because they've been told that they can't do better and more shouldn't be expected from them. When I started at the beginning of the school year I noticed this mentality in the students and it angered me. They really didn't feel a need to try to do better because they just expected the teachers or administrators to make it right for them. This allowed them to blissfully waste away into nothing academically.
Since I myself don't buy into this mentality, I repeatedly pushed my students to think deeper. I gave them college level economic lessons and dived into the inner workings of the government and the Constitution. Many failed test after test as I pushed them to think on a higher level. I repeatedly told them that I was there because I believed in them and in their abilities. They all knew that I drove three hours every day to be there to teach them and that I put my business on hold while I did it. Many respected me for that, and they respected me for the respect that I show towards them.
I had one particular student come into my class one day after school. He was failing with a pretty solid F; I believe his class grading percentage was at 14% or less. He told me that he couldn't do it, that he was too stupid, and my classes were too hard for him. I listened to him and told him to pay better attention and try harder. The next day in class I gave a 15-minute pep talk about how I never wanted to hear anybody come to me and tell me that they couldn't do it or that they were too stupid to understand. I told them all that they were powerful and could do anything that they truly wanted to do. I told them not to let negative influences define them, but to daily look in the mirror and tell themselves that they were capable of anything. The student that had come to me after school sat there and listened and mouthed to me that he understood. He started working harder and improved his grade to a B. His last test that he took in my class he got an 86%; I never saw someone with more pride in a grade than him, and I was proud of him as well. The students in my classes that I taught each got the same talk from me periodically.
I never let on, but I cared about each of those kids. I wanted them to succeed and achieve great things. I found myself caring for them more than some cared for themselves and that was hard. When I finally stepped away from the classroom to return to my business, it was bitter-sweet. To this day I still stay in contact with some students and I like to see how they are progressing in life. In their minds I might have not had much of an impact, but in my heart, they impacted me.
We as adults need to be careful with how we use words in our interactions with our children and the youth that we interact with. Even adults can be negatively affected by the words that we use when we interact with them. Each one of us has been infused with the power of words. We chose daily whether we are going to be superheroes or super villains. It is my hope that each of us chooses to be the superhero in someone else's life. The kind that swoops down and rescues them from the negative effects of their mental and emotional kryptonite.
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